sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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