you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
