Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
