Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When are your genitals available?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pooping to opera.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
