Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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