believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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