I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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