so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
