HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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