thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.