Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
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I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.