Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?