this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell