Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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