it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
2020 sucks, I want a refund
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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