I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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