this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
