we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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