I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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