i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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