my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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