even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize