I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
