I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i drank out of a bidet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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