I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
