i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
