Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
