i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
