you traded sex for a burrito?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
