is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize