i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
