Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
