so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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