I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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