i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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