the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
