That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
