I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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