She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
