My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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