he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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