Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
