dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
