I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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