Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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