This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
