return my video game
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
