She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
