i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just forgot I was standing up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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