How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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