remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
