I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
