Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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