Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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