Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
