Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize