Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
