my phone needs a breathalizer
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
there is glitter all over my balls
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
